(NOTE: Mark Clifton passed away on Feb. 24, 2023, at Yale New Haven Hospital, surrounded by his family. Mark was an EMT and former president of the Killingworth Ambulance Association. But he was more … so much more … than that. Ranger and Director at Deer Lake. Killingworth Citizen of the Year. Haddam/Killingworth Hall of Fame. Builder. Adventurer. Storyteller. Teacher. Mentor. And a friend to all who knew him.)
Shortly after Mark Clifton passed away in late February, someone wanted to know if I had a favorite story about him. I told him I did. It involved an incident that happened at Deer Lake in the summer of 2019.
A father who knew Mark asked if he and his 24-year-old son, who lived in Georgia, could camp out at Deer Lake for the weekend. It was his son’s wish to fish with his Dad before leaving for military boot camp, and Mark said he understood.
So he gave his approval.
It was supposed to be a joyous reunion. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. The father collapsed one morning, the victim of a heart attack, and had to be rushed to the Westbrook Clinic where he died.
Mark wasn’t in the ambulance that took him there. But he was at the clinic. He’d gone into the woods to retrieve the victim from a remote location that was inaccessible to the ambulance. Then he volunteered to drive the victim’s son to Westbrook, where he remained for five hours to console the young man.
“I didn’t want to leave,“ he said, his voice cracking, “until he came to grips with his Dad’s death and went to see him. I knew how he felt. My father died in my arms when I was 15.”
Within that story is everything that made Mark Clifton extraordinary. He was kind… compassionate … dedicated … empathetic … and dependable. But it’s only one story. There are dozens more, all testaments to what made him a rare individual. I wanted to hear them, and I did. Now you can, too.
MIKE DORAZ
Pathfinders board member and former member, Scout Troop 490
“When I think of Mark Clifton, I think of him as an angel sent by God. I know he didn’t resemble what most people think of an angel. But it wasn’t his appearance that made me see him that way. It was his accomplishments. I believe that when Man acts contrary to God’s will, God sometimes sends an angel to correct those mistakes.
Mark Clifton was that angel.
He fixed problems, with Deer Lake a perfect example. The property had been declining for years after Ralph Hill owned and operated a beautiful camp (God’s work). But then Mark stepped in and restored it – and I’m not talking about just the property and buildings. I’m talking about the ability to foster God’s intentions through programs he implemented at the summer camp.
But I also believe God called on Mark to save Scout Troop 490 in Madison. Mark was its first Eagle Scout, and the troop once was in danger of being dissolved … that is, until Mark acted to save it. He became its Scoutmaster and had the Scouts run it.
Now, having Scouts lead a Troop instead of a Scoutmaster isn’t common. It was extraordinary. But it worked. It gave the few remaining Scouts the confidence to continue the troop, and the results speak for themselves. The group became the most successful Scout troop in the Council. Not only did it grow exponentially in numbers; it was the most awarded troop at every competition where it participated.
Mark Clifton guided the troop as he did most everything in which he was involved. He led from the side. He encouraged others to fulfill their potential, often causing them to reach heights they never thought possible. Never was that more apparent than his last demonstration of angelic power: He helped save Deer Lake.”
CATHY IINO
Former first Selectwoman of Killingworth and current member of the Pathfinders board of directors
“Mark was, ever and always, a teacher. Not the kind of teacher who stands in front of a room and gives out a list of rules. Not (usually) the kind who scolds. Mark taught by example … by story-telling … by engaging people and connecting them to work that needed to be done.
“Walking in the woods, Mark taught me to see layers of ecology and history. Facing issues with the town’s emergency medical response system, Mark educated me about the state and federal regulations, billing practices and institutional relationships. Fighting to save Deer Lake, Mark insisted on the fundamental values that were to be advanced there. Team building. Resilience. Honesty. Kindness.
“But I learned the most from the ever present sparkle in Mark’s eyes. That was a reminder to find delight in the world, whatever sad, annoying or infuriating circumstances you face. It’s a hard lesson to learn right now when we have just lost such a beautiful soul. But it’s what I wish for Mark’s wife, his children and his many, many friends.”
CHARLOTTE JUDGE
Former Deer Lake camper and CIT
“About 10 years ago I was a young camper at Deer Lake, and there was a thunderstorm that hit around mid-day. Being young and unaware of everything about thunder and lightning, I was terrified. All I knew was that a tree had fallen across Paper Mill Road, and parents couldn’t drive in to pick up their children. I was scared. All I wanted was the storm to end. That’s when one person came to us, making sure everyone felt safe and comfortable. That was Mark Clifton … or Ranger Mark, as we knew him.
‘Don’t worry, guys,’ he told us. ‘ You all will get home safe and sound. But, for now, let’s go to Leary Hall.’
So we did. He saw me crying and went out of his way to assure me that all would be OK. I remember suddenly feeling relaxed and safe. I never thought about that until I was older, realizing it wasn’t just a random act of kindness … but who Ranger Mark was: Someone who made the world feel safer. I will forever miss his jokes, his smile and his kindness. He’s a legend, and I will never forget him.”
DON McDOUGALL
Former Killingworth EMT and KAA board member
“When they first opened Deer Lake for camping, I went down there with the Boy Scouts for a weekend camping trip. The housing was in such bad shape that the buildings looked as if they should be torn down. But over the years, Mark and Patty made fantastic improvements to the property. Even my grandson, who was at the 50th anniversary for the Killingworth Ambulance Association at Deer Lake (October, 2021), couldn’t get over how much the property had changed since he was camping there with the Boy Scouts. Mark always seemed to have a positive attitude, and I will always remember that.”
JAY POTTER
Facilitator for team building programs at Deer Lake
“Several years ago, I happened to run into Mark’s son, Forrest, at a meeting of a professional organization. At the end of the program, many of the participants jumped in to help each other put the borrowed meeting space back in order. Forrest grabbed a push broom. Even if I had never met Forrest before, I would have confidently recognized him as a graduate of the Mark Clifton School of Sweeping. No one who had gotten lessons from Mark in sweeping the Deer Lake dining hall would have failed to notice that Forrest was using the same precise technique and procedure – “The Method” – that Mark had shown would do a polished, efficient and thorough job without stirring dust that would settle later. How many of us have received that same lesson?
“I never think of Mark as a rigid or procedure-bound man, but there were some activities for which he knew there was a Right Way. Whether it was designing the sequence of a daily or weekly program week, setting up a rock-climbing site, belaying, leading a group of novice canoeists, storing and maintaining equipment, sweeping a large floor … or countless other activities … there are things that can allow individual creativity and variation.
“And then there are things that must be done the Right Way.
“He was a patient and thorough teacher, reinforcing fundamentals again and again whenever there was a Right Way to get things done. Mark’s attitude of Doing It Right has been frequently echoing within me for decades … and will long continue to do so.
LENA RIMMER
Former camper and current lifeguard at Deer Lake
“As a camper my entire childhood, I always saw Mark Clifton as a stranger behind the scenes. It wasn’t until Wilderness School that I really met him. That’s when he’d come to us with project suggestions, floor-sweeping tutorials and demos on wilderness survival as he got to know us. By my third year of Wilderness School, this became a routine. Mark would steal the ‘third-years’ away to practice tying knots or set up climbs for the rest of the group. He not only talked to us about skills we were learning but regaled us with stories about the history of our gear and taught us to make harnesses out of webbing.
“By the end of summer, he and Patty held a makeshift graduation for me and two other ‘third-years.’ We were given a spool of webbing and instructions how to retie the harness. Then we were crowned with a specific title related to a skill we learned from Mark. Mine was knot-tying. We practiced tying knots so much that we could pretty much tie a bowline on a bite behind our backs … and with our eyes closed.
“When I think of what Mark did for me, I’m reminded how much he trusted me with responsibility and pushed me to be confident in my skills. After my first year of Wilderness School, he asked me to return in the fall and help ‘belay’ for rock-climbing crews. I was only 15 then. So it meant a lot that he saw me as someone who could be a leader. It made me confident in my skills and in myself. Over the next few years, I continued to return to Deer Lake in the spring, summer and fall. Mark instilled values of hard work, leadership and teamwork in me and so many others, and, with his support, I trusted my skills and learned not be intimidated by others.”
DICK BAUER
Former chief of the Killingworth Volunteer Fire Company, longtime KAA member
“Every time we were on a medical call together, whether I was there with the KVFC or part of Mark’s crew on the ambulance, he always … always … made a point to look me in the eyes and say, ‘Thank you for responding’ or ‘Thank you for helping out.’ At first, I didn’t think much about it. Then it hit me. Why is he thanking me … and us? He’s out here, too. Who’s thanking him? Mark was selfless in so many ways and never wanted the spotlight – always going out of his way to acknowledge people’s efforts. Day. Night. Rain. Snow. It didn’t matter. He was always there.
“Mark bled the KAA. He recognized that we needed EMTs and business-minded folks to help on the board. Said differently: He broke the cycle of ‘everyone has to be an EMT’ and recruited fresh blood to the team. And look what happened: Dan (KAA president Dan O’Sullivan) got stung by the bee and became an EMT. “Fretz X 2” (board members James and Mary Robbenhaar-Fretz, both EMTs), too. The organization is stronger because of Mark’s constant efforts to recruit.
“I still chuckle when I remember Mark’s Monday night trips to the ‘Griz’ (Griswold Inn) to grab a pint and sing sea chanties with random people. He’d belt out those songs, swinging his pint of beer in the air, adding his baritone voice to the sailors. All with that infectious smile that we remember.
“I could go on. Coffee stories. Picnics at Deer Lake. The Rovers. Hosting Christmas parties at his house. His generosity had no limits. None.”
JIM LALLY
Former Killingworth Ambulance Association (KAA) president
“When you would talk to him at ambulance board meetings, he’d tilt his head to give you his full attention. He would get fired up about a new idea and always offered additional input. But if he didn’t approve, he would stand by his convictions to show a way better. He was a Clydesdale, a work horse who would take on projects and run with them … and do it with a smile. I attended a town picnic with Mark’s organization at Deer Lake where we had cow bingo with our cows. Mark’s idea. As a Killingworth resident for many years, I had never seen Deer Lake. So it was a perfect opportunity for residents like me to visit this pristine park setting, and Mark was the perfect host. He organized, oversaw and maintained the picnic so there was a flow to take in the events. A superb job. Mark Clifton was one of a kind, and I will miss him.”
TOM FEINER
Assistant Scoutmaster Troop 490 in Madison and current board member of Pathfinders
“I met Mark Clifton in the fall of 1972 when St. Andrew’s Church started Troop 490. Mark and another young man, Jeffrey Etherington, were going to be the senior leaders. Mark was already well on his way to becoming an Eagle Scout and achieved that rank the following year. We went on many amazing trips into the White Mountains of New Hampshire where Scouts learned knot tying, fire building and first aid from Mark. Mark once took four of us on what became known as the “Presidential Range Death March,” covering well over 15 miles. He had to stop a number of times to come back and tell a few of us that, if we didn’t get up and continue walking, we would die above the tree line. That, my friends, is a serious fact of the White Mountains. I will always cherish the memories I have of camping with him.”
TED LANGEVIN
Former Deer Lake Maintenance chairman, Scoutmaster, Cubmaster and current president of Pathfinders
“Mark was a great teacher. He had a way of just showing up where people were gathered and doing something that would interest the group. Before long, he’d get a few people to watch what he was doing, and he’d offer to teach them. As they were learning, Mark had a unique way of making them feel they could do what he was teaching … and that spurred them on to learn more. I don’t think I have ever seen a more effective way to teach the skills Mark taught to so many people.”
PAT MILLER
Killingworth Ambulance Association board member and former EMT
“Mark had the biggest heart of perhaps anyone I’ve known. We first me in high school, and I was fortunate to reacquaint with him over 20 years ago. That’s when I joined the KAA as a board member and EMT, working alongside him as he patiently and willingly shared his many years of practical experience. It’s also where I learned of a “typical Mark story” that I will share.
“There was an elderly couple that we responded to on many occasions – often for a “lift-assist” after a fall, with no medical transport required. On one such occasion, a late-morning 911 call brought the ambulance to their home after the woman had fallen. But upon arrival, EMTs determined that she wasn’t injured. However, she and her husband were still in their night clothes and unable to go downstairs for coffee or breakfast. So, once Mark and his partner settled her and determined that no medical attention was required, Mark headed for the kitchen while his partner completed paperwork.
“Not only did he make their morning coffee; he rummaged through the refrigerator to rustle up eggs and toast for breakfast. Then he served them with his good-natured smile. That was so typical of Mark. He always went ‘above and beyond’ to make the world a better place. My life is blessed to have had him in it!”
JODI ANGUS
Former rock climbing and ropes course facilitator, program director and assistant camp director at Deer Lake.
I had this realization that my feelings about Mark can’t boil down to one story. He was my friend, my mentor, my boss, my family and just an all-around good person. For a lot of people that was Mark. He saw people so clearly, and he was who they needed in that time.
“Mark had so much to share, and he was so willing to do it. He didn’t need to be the center of attention; he didn’t need to have all eyes on him all the time. But he was willing to share everything he had with people … He was always someone who wanted to help people, with never a thought of what will come in return. It was always about: What can I give? Mark was a giver “
MARY ROBBENHAAR-FRETZ
Killingworth EMT and board member and first Deer Lake waterfront director
“What I’ll never forget is that whenever he’d show up for a call, he’d have his coffee mug in his hand … and I would have mine as well. We were fellow coffee addicts. He’s the only guy I ever met who loved coffee as much as I did. But he had a habit of misplacing his mug. I’d find it in the headquarters, or I’d find it in the ambulance. Then I’d return it to him. Anyone who knew Mark knew he hated computers. So I always made sure to help him renew his EMT license on the state website. As long as he drove, and I took care of the patient and filled out the run forms, we made a good team.”
TED ELTON
Former camp counselor and waterfront director at Deer Lake; current Pathfinders board member
“Once, while home from winter break, two of my co-counselors and I decided to hike Deer Lake. It was surreal to be there in the offseason, the landscape so different in the leafless forest. We hiked through Fat Man Squeeze, and as we returned to our car we stopped by the edge of the lake, which had frozen over the night before.
“We discovered that if you threw a piece of ice on to the lake’s surface – as if you were skipping a stone – it would create a fantastic, skittering echo, like something out of science-fiction movie. The three of us stood there, delighted, as we flung handfuls of ice across the frozen lake, reveling in the otherworldly sounds that we were creating.
Then, from behind us, came Mark’s voice.
“I have to ask you not to do that.”
He explained that, yes, while the noise was totally cool, the ice that we were flinging would eventually come to rest on the surface of the lake … and, in the heat of the mid-day sun, eventually melt there. Not entirely, but just enough to fuse it to the lake’s frozen surface as the day cooled, where it would remain until the lake thawed.
“And that’s the perfect thing,” Mark said, “to catch the toe of some kid’s ice skate and send him flying.”
“Unbeknownst to us, Mark cleared the lake every winter so families could skate … and we were ruining it. He could have shouted at us from the house or come roaring down the hill, berating us for our selfishness and foolishness. But while Mark’s reprimand was firm, he delivered it gently and with a respect that we were unaccustomed to. In so doing, he offered us the opportunity to see more clearly how our actions might impair the ability of those who came after us to enjoy the lake.
And while that noise was something else, Mark’s lesson was understood. “
RICH NICHOLS
“Mr. Fix It” at Deer Lake
“I always thought of Mark as the ‘Mountain Man.’ He was bigger than life itself. We had similarly parallel paths in the outdoors, often in Scouting. Canoeing expeditions … winter backpack camping on snowshoes … hiking the New York and New England mountain ranges … he always seemed a step ahead of me.
“Although a couple of years my junior, I always considered him a mentor, right up to this year. He had a talent to encourage others to stretch their boundaries … to believe you could do more … and, most importantly, to provoke you to want to teach others the same way. That last point is why his legacy will live on for generations. I’ll often feel as if he is standing beside me, grinning and pointing “Out There.” Thank you, Mark.
MICHELLE ANJIRBAG-REEVE
Former camper, camp counselor, ropes/rock climbing facilitator at Deer Lake
“It’s really hard for me to boil anything down to a single memory or story. I grew up at Deer Lake, starting there when I was 5 years old. They had the Wilderness School, and when I started you could join at about 11. But I was a kid who was afraid of everything, I literally went into that Wilderness School kicking and screaming. My Mom gave Patty very strict orders that, unless there was a dire injury, I was not to be calling home and ask to be picked up.
“But somehow, I kept going back. I joined the Venture Crew when that was started, and it’s because of Mark and Patty … but, really, because of who Mark was and the kind of space he created to allow people to grow. I went from a kid who – and we have home video of this — was not touching grass to hiking and backpacking and trying everything … and, eventually, leaving.
“I was scared of everything, but somehow I managed to keep going away. I live in the U.K. now. I left for my Masters (degree) on close to a whim. And a big part of being able to leave has been knowing that there’s always been somewhere to come home to.
“I remember being about 16 years old, and we had a group coming in for some programming. They were late, so I was just hanging out at camp. When I off-handed asked, ‘Can I do something?’ I was told, ‘Do you know how to use a Sawzall?’ I didn’t even know what one was. But somehow in the next 15 minutes I’m set up in front of the barn, trying to use this thing to cut water barrels in half to turn into grills for the camp sites.
“I come from a single parent family. It’s just me, my Mom and my sister. Anything that I can do or have learned to do has been in part because there has been this space for me to learn and ask questions. And make a lot of mistakes. It’s not important just to make people feel like they can try anything but to make them feel that, if they make a mistake, they’re worth helping.
“And he did that for me. I can’t think of somebody who believed more through his actions that the best small good you can do for people is better than anything else. He lived it. There aren’t many people like that.
“One other thing: As I said, I grew up at Deer Lake and allegedly became an adult, but I learned the experience of going out to the ‘Griz’ and singing with Mark on Mondays at Sea Shanty nights. The best thing about that was after it was over … if you stuck around late enough … and the weather was good enough …and the sky was clear enough … we would end up down by the docks in Essex, next to the River Museum. It would be whoever was out for the night. And we’d star gaze.
“I can still find Cassiopeia, no matter what country I’m in. And every time I find it, it’s like going home.”
SHAWN SODERGREN
Next-door neighbor to Deer Lake, both as a child and as an adult
“I grew up in Killingworth and remember when he came to Deer Lake. So I’ve known him the whole time he was there. I think one of the funniest stories I heard involved one of my brothers, Mike, who was four years younger than me. He and Mike Clark — a friend of his — kept an eight-foot dingy on the east side of the lake. Anyway, my Dad had a 9.9 outboard motor, and one day … out of nowhere … Mark hears this strange sound coming from the lake – a sound like, well, an outboard motor. And he’s like, “What in the world?’ So he walks down to the lake, and sees my brother and Mike trying to water ski behind the 9.9. Now, they’re in high school, so they’re not little kids. And I remember what Mark said: ‘When I saw that, I sat down, took off my hat and just started laughing at these knuckleheads trying to get up on skis with a 9.9.’ Eventually, he stood up and told them, ‘You guys can’t be using an outboard motor on Deer Lake.’ And that was the end of it. They had carried the motor a half-mile through the woods and clamped it on the dingy. So they had to carry it back. I guess what I appreciated about that story was that he knew they were young and the way he laughed about it. He was shaking his head and saying, ‘I’ve just got to sit down and watch this for a few minutes.’
CLIFF HASLAM
Founder and lead singer with the Jovial Crew, the Sea Shanty Band at the Griswold Inn in Essex
I met him 40 years ago, and we just became great friends from the ‘Griz.’ That’s where I saw him most. He enjoyed Monday nights with the music, and he liked to sing along. He was one of the nicest people in the world … he and Patty and the family. We didn’t hang around a lot, but two or three times he invited us to sing at the camp for the staff. Shortly after his passing, we dedicated a song to him (at the ‘Griz’) at the end of the night. It’s an Irish song about a wake that goes, “Let’s not have a snivel, let’s have a bloody good cry … and always remember the longer you live, the sooner you bloody well die.” He liked that one.
DAVE CUTILLO
Former Deer Lake counselor and Killingworth Ambulance Association board member
“One hot summer night when I was old enough to know better, but young enough not to care, some friends and I decided to sneak into Deer Lake for some illicit night-swimming. We were no more than waist deep into our misadventure when we were interrupted by a voice that boomed from the shadows..
“Did you get in up to your shoulders yet?”
We turned in horror to the sight of an imposing figure in a Tilly hat who, before any of us could find the courage to respond, continued, “Because if you haven’t, do it now, and then come with me.”
I didn’t know it at the time, but I had just met The Ranger, a man who would have a profound and lasting influence on my life … who would teach me more lessons than I could count … who would correct me when he found me in error, challenge me when I was sure I knew better … and remind me, time and time again, that “we all keep each other in check.” All I knew then was that I had made a very bad decision and that my life was as good as over.
We followed The Ranger in the darkness, dripping with lake water and shame, fearing for our lives as we lived out this all-too-familiar B-movie plot. We knew perfectly well what happened to teens who broke the rules and got caught out in the woods at night…
We eventually arrived at The Ranger’s station, where we were processed in the usual fashion: The Ranger took our driver’s licenses, wrote down our names and addresses in his enormous log of miscreants, gave us a stern lecture on the dangers of our actions, complete with depictions of our gruesome deaths, and sent us on our way. He didn’t chop us up and feed us to the snapping turtles as we had begun to fear he might. He didn’t call the police either, though he surely could have. Instead, he taught us a lesson we would never forget.
It would be the first of many.
Some years later, despite knowing that I was officially and permanently banned from Deer Lake, and sure that The Ranger would remember my act of malfeasance the moment he saw me, I had the temerity to apply for a job as a camp counselor at Deer Lake. After being there long enough to feel comfortable approaching him, I confessed my story to The Ranger. He chuckled, gave me a quick appraising look, and said, “So you’re in my book of bad kids, huh?”
Mark Clifton and I went on to work together for years, and in that time we had our disagreements. Nevertheless, I always admired and respected him, and, more often than not, I eventually came to accept that he’d been right. I was honored when, just two years ago, he approached me to join the KAA board of directors. I accepted, and, just as when I was young, the lessons carried on. In fact, the last time I saw him, he arrived just a few minutes late for a meeting. He apologized for his tardiness, and we replied, “Oh, that’s alright, Mark.” He didn’t miss a beat: “No, it’s not” he said matter-of-factly.
Mark had high standards for all of us, himself included.
“Mark Clifton may have let slip this earthly veil, but The Ranger surely hasn’t. He still resides where he always has, in our hearts and in our memories. If ever you find yourself hiking through Deer Lake, quiet yourself and listen carefully to the woods. If you’re patient, I’m confident you’ll hear his canoe on the lake, and his booming voice softly singing, “My paddle’s clean and bright, flashing like silver, swift as the wild goose flies, dip, dip and swing…”.
“As a matter of fact, I can hear him now… “Greet the morning sunshine!” “Many hands make light work.” “Watch me first, then try yourself.” “You need to know how your car works; it’s the second most expensive thing you’ll ever buy.” And, of course, “Sometimes I may need to correct you, and sometimes you may need to correct me. We all keep each other in check.”